My brain decides to halt all production Spider-Man wearing Supreme shirt. I sometimes see blurry, get chronic headaches, and I become lightheaded for no reason. It’s caused some serious issues. On those days where I don’t get out of bed, my brain immediately starts working. Okay, today we start with the tenth period. We never do anything in the choir, so I can do a little history homework in there. In the first period, we don’t even get assignments, so I can probably finish it up in there. If I have time, I’ll start the math homework too.

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It’s just an internal dialogue consisting of panic, sadness, disappointment, and fear Spider-Man wearing Supreme shirt. I fear failure. I am so insecure, thinking about dying or running away is more like a plan. Everything I consider becomes a plan. I really want to correct them, but I eventually think better of it. In seventh grade, everything ends up being an issue or an assignment. Sometimes, it makes you want to give it all up and leave. After all, what is there to lose? I can’t possibly recount every time I’ve ever thought about leaving, dying, hurting myself, etc. Here’s an example of one of my plans.

I could hitchhike to a friend’s house, or near one, anyway. What about the dog? Ugh, I can’t take her with me, she’d never survived and I could never watch her die in my arms. On the other hand, I can’t leave her here. Her entire purpose is to serve me and she could develop anxiety. What about my medical supplies? I’m sure that insulin doesn’t come cheap. I’m not cute enough to get people on the street to help. This can never work. That’s one example. Sometimes, it’s just all too much. Even if they are self-aware and do want help, most people are not properly trained and equipped to help someone with NPD.

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